And the “baby gender award” goes to . . .

The boys! We opened our envelope on Saturday and we’re going to have a son! The family name lives on for another generation. :)

We had such a good time with our baby party that I think we everyone should do this for all their babies. It’s the cold/flu/icky feeling season unfortunately, so my oldest brother’s wife and second son couldn’t make it, and my other brother and his family couldn’t make it either (mommy, son and twin girls all not feeling well!). So the crowd was smaller than we originally thought, though we still had two uncles, an aunt, a cousin, and the grandparents there (our baby is lucky and has 6 of them).

What a fun time we had! We each had to pick little name tags (blue, pink or yellow) to show what we thought the baby would be – I chose blue for a boy (I’d been telling Jon the last 2 weeks that I thought it was a boy), and Jon chose yellow at first, saying he didn’t have any strong feeling on what sex the baby was, but then switched to blue when he realized that in his explanations of the ultrasound pictures he kept calling the baby a “him.” So his subconscious at least was saying he thought it was a boy! Everyone else was pretty evenly split, with Grandma Sherry wearing one of each (she wants the doctors to be wrong on all the ultrasounds and have us actually have twins hiding in there!), and Jeremy using his patented family birth order method to show that we would have a boy (in Jon’s family tree the firstborn has boys, the middle child has a mix and the youngest child has girls). There was some betting going on between the uncles too. :)

We had a lot of good food as well (a hallmark of any of our family get-togethers and important to the mom-to-be, can you tell?). And the dad-to-be got his appetizer request -- little cheesy weenies wrapped in crescent rolls (turned out to be an omen – little weenies, hehe). While we were eating we went through a book called, “Boy or Girl? Fifty fun ways to find out,” which basically listed different old wives’ tales on how to tell if you were having a boy or girl. Such scientific and rigorous methodology (how you pick up a Kleenex, do you crave sweet or salty foods now, etc.) produced a split, with “girl” holding the slight advantage. I think we could have flipped a coin a few times randomly and come up with about the same result. :)

The moment of truth was upon us though! What was in that envelope?!?! Who would win Uncle Jeremy and Uncle Scott’s bet?! Which of the packages on the table would I, uhm, we that is, get to open – the pink or the blue?!

We called Jeff and Lori and Jill on the phone to make sure they didn’t miss it, and then Jon opened up the envelope (with all the cameras trained on us). :) And the truth-bearing, all-knowing envelope told us we were having a BOY! I started crying, everyone was screaming and happy, and Jon had a grin on his face a mile wide. He didn’t take off his boy pin the rest of the day, and every once in a while I would hear him say, “I’m going to have a son.” How exciting! And we got to open the blue presents. :)

Jon’s mom did something pretty amazing – she wrapped up an outfit that she had knitted for Jon when he was a baby and he wore in some of his first pictures and to his first Thanksgiving. Can you believe she saved it all this time? And it’s in perfect condition. Now it’s Jon’s son's. That’s very special. We also received Jon’s coin bank from when he was little, his baby spoons (one sent from the CEO of IBM at the time Jon was born), a sweater Jon wore that was one of his mom’s favorites, and a little musical pillow that Jon used to fall asleep listening to. Cute little blue onesies and boy outfits too (the clothes look so rough-and-tumble they are adorable). I took the onesies out – they were so little and precious. But then I held them up to my stomach and they suddenly looked VERY VERY big – a baby boy that big inside me eventually and having to come out?! Not thinking about that, not thinking about that. :)

Now I’m getting used to the idea of actually having a son and a little boy. I’m so excited and glad that we found out what we were having! I want to run out to Baby Gap or Old Navy and buy little jeans and oxford shirts and cute little athletic shoes now. :) Here comes the fun part too – picking out the nursery décor (except the crib and dresser decisions, those aren’t so fun ($$$) – but now we can start looking at bedding and themes and all that good stuff). We’re going to have a baby boy! And we better get started on picking out a name. We have one that we are leaning towards right now, but as Jon says, “further discussion is warranted.” Now that we know we’re having a boy the picking out the name stuff is much more real and seems more serious now. I want to decide pretty soon though so that when Jon talks to my stomach (yes, he already does that sometimes) and says, “Hello in there!” he can actually say his son’s name. :)

Ultrasound Video, sniffle, sniffle.

Well, Jon and I watched our ultrasound video the other night. And it reduced me to tears. But not the kind you would think.

It seems our brilliant ultrasound tech recorded approximately 20 seconds of our beautiful baby's head and then decided that was enough. So, no heartbeat, no spine, no little legs, no little squirmies. 20 seconds of the head and then nothing. Nothing. NOTHING. N O T H I N G!

I am quite upset at the whole thing, as you would imagine. We sit down to see our baby again and instead I get the exact same shot that is in the pictures and nothing else! If this lady can't operate video equipment correctly how can she tell what equipment our bean is carrying, if you know what I mean?! At least we get to find out in only 2 days what gender our baby is -- let's hope she gets that right or I'll be coming after her. Our beautiful baby keepsake is essentially another blank tape. :(

Knock, knock! Is that you in there?

I think I finally feel the baby moving! I kept waiting to feel the “butterflies” or “fluttering” that every said I should feel, but that never happened. But on Sunday night I was sitting in the office with Jon and it was like something was going crazy in my tummy. It felt like little muscle spasms in my lower abdomen. First I thought that this was just a new digestive tract “feature” that the pregnancy books hadn’t warned me about – I’d felt occasional twitches like this for the last two weeks or so and they always went away pretty quickly.

But when it seemed like it wasn’t calming down like it had before I decided to look on the internet for how other women described baby movements. And yes, most describe the first movements as “flutters”, but a surprising amount also said that their baby’s movements first felt like little twitches. And one lady described really well what I was feeling – “it was a feeling like when your eye twitches suddenly, but in my lower abdomen.” Exactly! And on Sunday night they kept going for a while! I’m feeling the twitches more often and for longer periods now, and last night it seemed more pronounced, just like on Sunday night (I’m cooking up a night owl, just like daddy). Now, it could still be gas or something else, but I like the baby explanation better, so I’m sticking with that! Our bean is a jumping bean now! :)

Ultrasound Number 2!

We saw you! We saw you! We saw you! And you are a cutie – mommy and daddy can tell that already! Though you are not a morning person (wonder who you got that from?). :)

Let’s walk through the ultrasound experience, shall we? First off, we (meaning Missy – Jon stayed in bed, warm and comfy) had to get up early (since our appointment was early) and go to the bathroom and then drink LOTS of liquid and then NOT go to the bathroom until after the ultrasound. Yeah. Oooookay. Pregnant ladies are not comfortable not going to the bathroom for extended periods. And I had to lay on my back for most of the ultrasound, which is the most uncomfortable position for me while I've been pregnant -- not even considering laying flat with a full bladder. It wasn’t that bad (I’ve had to go to the bathroom worse in my life) but it wasn’t that fun either.

My doctor doesn’t do ultrasounds in her practice --- they send you to another ultrasound doc who is part of the same overall physician group but not in their practice – so we went to a different doctor’s office in Ypsilanti. And wow! This doc’s office was super-swanky. Hardwood floors, mood lighting, and soft music – I wanted to move in! And they had a warmer for the ultrasound gel (thank you thank you), so the goo they put on my tummy was warm and not shockingly cold like all the moms at work told me it was going to be.

At first we couldn’t really see anything, though the tech seemed to know what she was looking at. And then we saw the baby’s face (or profile to be more accurate)! Yay, you look like a person and not a blob, little bean! One less thing to worry about. You had your hand by your face but weren’t sucking your thumb though. You didn’t want to move, so we couldn’t see the front view of your face, but we have a couple good profile pics of your adorableness to show-off. After getting a peak at your head, the tech spent a good amount of time getting pictures of your heart – it was cool to see all the chambers beating. At first we were slightly concerned because the tech looked at the heart and then said, “I’m going to spend some time checking out this heart here.” I immediately thought something was wrong! The tech did indeed spend a lot of time checking it out, but then said the heartbeat was nice and strong and everything looked good. She could be lying, but I guess we’ll find out at the next doctor’s appointment. After the heart we looked at your abdomen and kidneys, and took a measurement of your waistline (cute tummy bean!).

Then came the words, “Do you want to know?” and it felt like time was standing still. She knew what gender our bean was, err . . . is I mean! We hesitated and she joked, “I assume you’ve talked about this before now.” Hehe. Jon said that we did want to know but we wanted her to . . . at which point she said, “Write it down.” Hmm, guess she’s heard our little song and dance before. She did think it was neat to open it up with our family there though. She said that during Christmas especially she gets lots of requests to write the gender down so people can open it as a Christmas present. We both kind of think that it must be a boy, simply because it seemed like the tech knew pretty quickly and seemed sure (of course we didn't even know she was really in that region, so what do we know, and I guess she sees baby private parts everyday and can probably tell them apart pretty efficiently) . People at work with girls have told me that their doctor knew right away and was sure as well, so who knows. We'll find out soon! (doggone, where's that envelope?!) She actually didn’t write it down right then, but continued to check out the baby’s legs (there are two) and arms (two of those as well) and spine (only one of those).

Throughout this whole thing our baby just laid there! Is this a sign of a lazy child? Or a compliant easy-going kid? Hmm. It frustrated mommy a little – I wanted to see you moving, my cutie! The tech wanted better pictures of the spine, which necessitated the baby changing position, which he/she was not doing on their own, so she had me roll on my side towards Jon.

That woke the baby up a little – it squirmed and kicked to get comfortable again, and then promptly went back to sleep! Moved enough to get a much better view of the spine though, which made the tech happy. And then she took a long look at something at the top of the spine, going “Hmm” and moving the ultrasound-thingy (technical term there) to view the “growth.” Which turned out to be the baby’s hand – he or she was lying with their hand tucked behind their back. Goof-a-loo! We have a picture of that too, which the tech labeled for the doctor so he wouldn’t think that we were having a hunchback. I rolled towards the tech to get a few more shots of the kidney, and then we were done! She wrote down the gender in the card that we had ready while we looked away, and then Jon whisked the card away from me (smart man). It is now in an undisclosed location (to Missy at least), not to be seen until we get together with our families. After this was all done I finally got to go to the bathroom (sweet relief!). That was nice.

It was so cool to see our baby and see it move - if only a little bit! I brought the pictures to work and keep looking over at them. We’re really having a baby – not a blob, but a real baby! With a nose and head and arms and legs that actually work! This ultrasound thing is cool. The pictures don’t look like what you see in the books though – I think they took pictures of babies who are farther along than we are. At first I was a little disappointed because the baby didn’t move as much as I thought it would, and the pictures didn’t look like the books, but that was dumb (kookie mommy). Now I can’t stop looking at our little baby’s face in the pictures. I think I’m in love . . . :)

19 weeks, my little zucchini!

You're a zucchini this week, little one! I'm so excited to see you on Monday when we have our ultrasound. You better be a good little zucchini and show-off for the doctor! Here's what you're doing this week:

How your baby's growing: Your baby weighs about 8 1/2 ounces, and he measures 6 inches, head to bottom — about the length of a small zucchini. His arms and legs are in the right proportions to each other and the rest of his body now. His kidneys continue to make urine, and the hair on his scalp is sprouting. This is a crucial time for sensory development: Your baby's brain is designating specialized areas for smell, taste, hearing, vision, and touch. If your baby is a girl, she has an astonishing six million eggs in her ovaries. They'll dwindle to fewer than two million by the time she's born.

You're getting hair now too -- so the big question is, are you going to be a little Dutch boy or girl and have blond hair and blue eyes like your mommy? Or are you growing curly brown hair like your daddy?

5 months to go . . .

And that totally is freaking me out. I was talking at work yesterday about priorities for the next few months and thinking about what I want to get done before the baby comes . . . in 5 months.

5 months isn’t even half a year.

5 months ago I was using my air-conditioner instead of the furnace (okay, so that analogy makes me think that 5 months is a really long time ago, but you get the picture).

5 months ago I wasn’t pregnant.

And 5 months from now I most likely won’t be either (or I’ll be screaming at the doctor to get it out!).

I feel like my pregnancy and baby activities have been in slow-motion so far though, as I've floated around blissfully happy and feeling so special since I was pregnant. But now it’s hitting me that my life over the next few months is going to speed up drastically. Both at work and at home there are so many changes to prepare for. And the list of things to do keeps getting longer. Some things that we’ve been putting off and could have had done long ago and frustrate me that I didn’t do sooner (bad Jon and Missy) -- the office needs to be cleaned, the closets re-organized (why did I move into a house with only one closet for hanging dresses?! Naturally in the baby’s room too!), the basement cleaned and organized so we can move the junk, err stuff, currently residing in the baby’s room down there, the taxes done, the finances checked and double-checked to make sure that yes, indeed, we won’t lose our house if I work part-time, etc. etc. And why do I have so many old magazines saved? Who needs this many candles and body soap? My pack-rat behavior defies explanation.

Then comes the actual baby stuff -- we have to pick out cribs and baby furniture and paint and bedding and a stroller and car seat, and all this stuff is so confusing (why do we legally allow a company to make basically one stroller but package it under different names and in 12 variations of fabrics and options which serves no purpose but to daze and confuse expecting parents so that they shell out more money to have the "super-deluxe, will guarantee perfect SAT scores stroller"?!). . . AHHH!

My life is accelerating over the next few months, and it scares me. Thinking about not being the same-old happy and silly Jon and Missy couple scares me. Thinking about breast-feeding scares me. Thinking about sleeping through the night while our baby cries scares me (I know they say that the mommy instinct kicks in, but what if it doesn't?). Thinking about not being perfectly in control and on-top of everything scares me (if you're psychoanalyzing me, this would be the big issue). My magically re-configuring body scares me (I’ve managed to lose my waist completely now, and if I re-gain the 40 pounds I just spent two years losing I'm going to lock myself in my bathroom and not come out). Being responsible for another life scares me. Having our families think I'm a bad mother scares me. Something happening to our baby or to Jon doesn't scare me -- it terrifies me. And even though I know all the changes to relationships and houses and jobs and my own personal issues will be worthwhile the instant Jon and I hold the little life that God has given us, right now all these changes and to-do lists still scare me. And I'm guessing that some of these feelings and insecurities will only get worse since . . . I still have 5 months to go.

Movement?

Earlier this week, after Missy and I had gone to bed, she had fallen asleep on her back, and I was still awake with my hand resting on her lower tummy, when I thought I felt some movement! It was very faint, and I'm not sure if I just felt Missy's tummy rumbling or something -- or was it our baby? I'm not sure! I almost woke Missy up, but after a few seconds I wasn't able to feel the movement anymore, so I decided not to. We'll have to see if Missy is able to feel baby move over the next few days and weeks!

A Weighty Dilemma

We had a doctor’s appointment this morning (all is well and Jon got to hear the woosh-woosh of the baby’s heartbeat this time!), and now I’m debating how to count my pregnancy weight gain. The doctor says I’ve only gained three pounds so far (go me!), but I’m not sure if I should count the 3 other pounds that I gained from the beginning of the pregnancy to my first doctor’s appointment at 8 weeks (The secret pounds that she doesn’t really know about. Though they did ask my pre-pregnancy weight and I told them what it was, so they really could be counting the 3 if they felt those 3 pounds were really important). Hmm, it is quite the dilemma. At first it seems I should count them (I did gain them, right?) . . . BUT the doctor is monitoring my weight gain from my first appointment, so maybe I should really stick with that weight (wouldn’t want to cause confusion, now would we?). :) And 3 sounds so much better than 6 . . .

Maternity Clothes!

I finally broke down and bought some maternity tops – I hit a really great on-line sale at the Gap and at Old Navy. My first clothes came last week!! I’m so excited!! I’m not big enough to wear any of them yet (they look like I’m wearing a tent at this point) but that actually made me feel quite good. It feels like my tummy is getting bigger everyday now though. It sure does get in the way a lot, and a lot of my jammy pants are suddenly too short, as my waist is migrating north for the winter.

As excited as I am for the maternity tops, I am slightly annoyed at Gap – I ordered the cutest top in two colors – pink and blue – and the two, supposedly exact same tops in the exact same size, fit completely different! The blue one is exactly right in the shoulders and arms and the pink one is all big and floppy on the top. Every time I moved while I was trying it on I thought I was going to fall right out the top. And now they are out of my size in the pink one so I can’t even exchange it (it’s so cute too). Instead I just have to return it. At least I ordered the blue one too and that one fits correctly! Still, it’s not like they are even close to the same fit – where’s the quality control!?! The other Gap clothes I ordered also seemed bigger in the chest and shoulders and much tinier in the tummy area, while the Old Navy clothes were just right all over (well, I’m projecting that the tummy area will be right eventually, once the bean makes his or her presence more obvious). I think I’ll be looking more at Old Navy for tops in the future, which is kind of a bummer since the Gap clothes are so adorable and they seemed to have more things that were appropriate for work. At least I can console myself that since Gap is more expensive too I’ll be saving money. Maybe that means I can spend more decorating the nursery? :)