Eli funnies

In our next installment of "Eli funnies," our brave hero, Elijah, continues to incite laughter with his silly antecdotes . . .

• The baby was moving kind of funny the other day so I was pushing on the side of my stomach to persuade her to not do that anymore when Elijah noticed what I was doing. He gave me a rather cross look and said, "Mommy, don't squish her!" Trust me buddy, from the way the baby was moving, Mommy was the one getting the worse end of the bargain!
  

• Eli was doing something brilliant (of course) and I asked him, "How did you get so smart? Is your mommy smart?" To which he replied, "No, Mommy's not smart. Mommy's cute."
  

• Jon was asking Eli what the "distinguishing characteristic" of an elephant was (I don't know why either, so don't ask) and Eli thought for a second and then said, "Big." Wow, very good Eli! Then Jon asked Eli what Mommy's distinguishing characteristic was. Eli again thought for a minute and said, "Big!" Hmm. I'd like to argue, but presently I can't since it really is the truth. :)

• Eli was a bit under the weather a few weeks ago but still had his priorities in order, since he came to me and said, "I don't feel so good, Mommy. We better go to Lexi and Tori's house." Playing with cousins is better than any medicine apparently and the cure for whatever ails you!
  

• Elijah picked up the word "puke" somewhere and at his birthday party delighted everyone with his self-composed song, "I am puke." Only three words repeated over and over, but with lots of expression and musical up and downs. Grandma Amanda found the song funny and once she started laughing Eli kept going and going, and then Grandma Sherry started laughing too. Since then Eli will bust out his "I am puke" masterpiece every once and a while, while I try to ignore it, hoping this behavior will simply go away. One day I got sick of the puke song though as he was singing it over breakfast, and explained to him that most people don't like puke, but somehow he did. Eli just looked at me and said, "I'm a boy, Mommy. Boys like puke." I couldn't help but laugh at that one. A few days later he did something that I said was gross and he said, "Yeah, I like gross." I was hoping to wait a bit longer on the fondness for puke and gross things, but apparently age 3 is when it's starting for Eli!